“I know but it just seems so real,” I answer while knowing what I’m hearing is true.
“I choose to be happy and enjoy my time here.”
As the sun continues to set, I watch a funny movie on the back porch using my laptop
and headphones. The movie quickly transports my mind. It’s nearly midnight when I
shower before bedtime.
Sleep is difficult. I find myself on the Internet at one o’clock in the morning.
Two of my friends have sent messages of love. Charles sends a message in bold type
font twenty times its normal size. “THE MOST GIANT QUANTUM HUG YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!!!!”
Sara from Michigan sends a series of funny cartoons that make me laugh out loud before
finally feeling the tiredness of the day.
I wake after 9:00 AM unable to sleep more and lie there thinking about my day. I
know I’ll write more, that’s a given, but what else can I fill my seemingly lonely
day with. There’s one more plant to repot and I begin to think of a planter from
decades ago with a kitten face on it. I rise and find it in the china hutch that
Daniel made me years ago. Due to many circumstances, it’s a miracle to still have
The ceramic piece looks much too fragile and precious to use as a planter. My eyes
are drawn to a present from Daniel received in the 1990’s as I put it back on the
top shelf. The sunshine pillow is still in its box sitting next to the ceramic angel
that says “Hope.” Abigail gave me the angel last Christmas. I pick the box up and
lift the pillow out stroking the “You Are My Sunshine” lettering amid the puffy cloud
and smiling sun.
A thought flashes through my mind that there’s a message for me somewhere that I’ve
never seen before. Reaching to the bottom of the box, I find a slip of paper from
a fortune cookie with a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt.
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”